The Mexican Perspective: Understanding Their Culture
Cultural Considerations – An Overview
Patrick Osio, Jr
(From Patrick Osio, Jr.’s The Mexican Perspective)
All Mexicans have one bond in common - their love for Mexico, which includes their flag. It is passionate, proud and limitless. They sing, yell, talk and write about it at the drop of a hat. While the vast majority of Americans are disdainful of other Americans burning our U.S. flag, since the U.S. Supreme Court held that burning of the flag is protected by freedom of speech, we are far more disciplined than Mexicans would be at such a sight – it would lead to riots, and the likelihood that Mexican Supreme Court judges would hand down a similar ruling is minimal, if for no other reason because their lives would more than likely come to a sudden end. When the biggest fast food U.S. company opened their first outlet in Mexico City, one of their U.S. public relations executives thought it would be a good idea to celebrate the occasion by having the paper napkins with the Mexican national emblem – the eagle eating the serpent – it was a catastrophe to put it mildly.
The Mexican social fiber is held together by respect and courtesy, sometimes to a fault – but in Mexico it is better to be overly respectful and polite than not enough. While we can say, it’s the same in the U.S. – the fact is that we are far more lax and casual about both respect and courtesy in dealing with ourselves. In Mexico, respect and courtesy are disciplines instilled since childhood – lack of either is one of, if not the, greatest faux pas American visitors to Mexico can and often make.
Another, common bonds for the majority of Mexicans, is their religion. The vast majority of Mexicans are Catholic, at least Baptized, Confirmed and in Communion. For most, being Catholic is part of being Mexican. Most attend church on Sundays, preferably a half-hour mass with a short sermon. However, as a majority, they are religious, ranging from somewhat to very. Their religion is so ingrained within them that it has become an important part of the overall Mexican culture.
The Virgin of Guadalupe is the Patroness of Mexico (and the American continent). The Virgin appeared to a peasant, Juan Diego, in 1531. The brown skin Virgin quickly became patroness of the Mexican people, and remains so to this date. A Basilica in Her honor was built on the site of the apparitions. (Because of age and deterioration, a new basilica was built a short distance from the original site.) Here on any day of the week, thousands of pilgrims from throughout the land, pay homage. On Her feast day, the crowds swell into the tens of thousands.
The day of Her first apparition was on December 12, this is her feast day and is one of the most important religious days throughout Mexico. Parades and special masses are held in every city, town and hamlet in Her honor. Though this day is not an official holiday, it is for all intent and purpose, a holyday widely observed. Devotion to the Virgin is strongest amongst the poor, but she is revered by all Catholic Mexicans. (Note the use of capital letter in “Her” as it is capitalized to signify Her uniqueness.)
Americans should be aware that any disrespect in action or word, regarding the Virgin of Guadalupe, is an unforgiving faux pas, and in the presence of some people, it could lead to violence. Americans are not expected to show devotion unless felt, but are expected to show proper respect.
In addition to the Virgin of Guadalupe, just about every town has a Patron or Patroness saint. The corresponding saint’s day is celebrated with great pomp, a parade and fair. If you’re fortunate enough to be in a town where such a celebration is about to or taking place, stick around you’ll enjoy it tremendously.
During the last three decades, Mexicans have gained a great deal of tolerance towards religious beliefs other than Catholicism. Mixed marriages, though not common, are now accepted by both the Catholic Church and most Mexican-Catholics. Americans traveling in Mexico will have little trouble finding places of worship in keeping with individual beliefs.
The almost total hold the Catholic Church enjoyed in Mexico has given way to other religions that have made progress in converting if not the masses, enough Mexicans to register as significant incursions. Methodists, Baptists, Lutherans, Mormons, and Jehovah Witnesses now have a strong presence in Mexico. In southern Mexico, in 1995, the year after the Zapatista rebellion, Spanish Muslims missionaries appeared and have managed to convert a few hundred Maya Indians, mostly taken them from Evangelical Protestants that have been in the area for some 50 years, but with little success. There are a few Muslim centers in Mexico City but the number of Muslims in Mexico may amount to a few thousand at most. The Spanish version of Islam is not widely accepted or accredited by main stream Muslim sects.
There is also a substantial Jewish community, particularly in Mexico City. The Mexican Jewish community is bound to all other Mexicans through their love for Mexico. Like Jews anywhere in the world, Mexican Jews maintain their culture, traditions, religious beliefs and holidays. However, it is not uncommon for Jewish parents to send their children to Catholic or other denominational private schools, as they are considered academically the best, and in the evenings to their own schools for religious education. There is a great deal of harmony between the Jewish community and all other sectors of Mexican society, including the Arab community, which also comprises a small, but significant group.
Right up there with devotion to the Virgin of Guadalupe is Mexicans love for and devotion to their mother. The love and respect for mothers is inherent – it’s openly expressed long before the age of reason and continues unabated for life. Mexicans, both male and female but in particular males, hold their mother in a holy pedestal – to be admired, respected, honored and loved. Mother’s day is May 10 every year no matter what day of the week. This day is very special to all Mexicans – totally dedicated to living mothers; this includes the abuelitas (grandmothers). Every restaurant in every city or town is jammed on this day. Parks overflow with picnickers – flower vendors run short. On this day families draw inward dedicating the day to their mothers sometimes bringing together several generations. Mothers who are no longer living are visited at the cemetery. Pictures at home are placed on tables with candles and flowers in memory. Such displays of love are not limited to Mother’s day – mother’s birthdays are also cause for great celebration. But even more than that – during the entire year, mothers are called and visited with much frequency. Her needs are attended to; she is never left alone when she can no longer take care of herself.
Knowing how Mexicans feel about their mothers is of importance to Americans because though the feelings towards mothers in the U.S. is likely as strong as those of Mexicans, but possibly not as emotionally and passionately displayed, in the U.S. we’ve become lax on usage of such expressions as SOB or even ‘bastard’ as either mild or strong insults or just kidding with one another. Not in Mexico – such expressions are taboo, not even kidding. The bonds of friendship have to be very strong to even kid one another with disrespectful remarks about another’s mother.
The relationship with fathers is also somewhat unique in that in addition to a great sense of love there is also a strong bond through respect and strict obedience to one’s father. There is never ‘macho’ embarrassment in showing affection to a father, or a father to his son(s). They hug and kiss each other on the cheek both when greeting or saying goodbye. Sons rarely get involved with arguments with their parents – even when right, they remain respectfully quiet. The father remains the patriarch of the family as long as he lives (and has mental agility). If there is a family business in which one or more sons work, even after the father is ‘retired’ he can have the final word on any business deal proposed. Sometimes, though on the surface it seems as though a son, usually the eldest, is in charge, and the father’s presence at the business only to ‘keep him busy and have a place to go’ is often a trap for fools – the father is still in charge and has the final word. Family businesses are passed on to sons who are then expected to take care of the proportions belonging to their brother’s or sisters who may not work in the business. There is an old saying in Mexico – “Better to leave the business to an idiot son, than to a stranger.” A family patriarch put it this way, it is the responsibility of a father to pass on a better opportunity than the one left to him.
And of utmost importance in the Mexican culture is their love of family and friends. Family and friends take precedence over all other relationships. It’s not that it’s unique to Mexicans, it obviously plays an important part in every culture, but in Mexico it has a lot of passion. There is an inherent loyalty not only to parents, but it also extends to siblings, uncles, aunts, cousins, family friends and parents’ ‘compadres’ (usually called ‘tios’ by the children though they may not be by blood line) and the ‘compadres’ might refer to their friend’s children as ‘ahijado’ (ah-ee-jah-doh) meaning godchild.
Another aspect of family is the love and respect Mexican have for their old. Grandparents, aged parents, aunts, uncles and aged family friends are treated with utmost respect, tenderness and patience. It is rare when elderly are sent to ‘retirement’ homes. Typically this only happens when a loved one has a serious terminal illness requiring specialized care and such small, well staffed and specialized facility is available – and provided the family can afford it. But even in these cases, the wealthy will hire the proper people and equipment keeping their loved ones at home.
One of the most notable social changes in recent times has been the desire and in most cases need for women to become ‘career’ workers and join the work force even after they are married. Typically women stayed home, but much like their counterparts in the U.S. (and other countries), Mexican women have moved into professions formerly the exclusive reign of males – attorneys, architects, doctors, some of the engineering disciplines, and beyond. And as in the U.S., they’ve had the same problems and challenges to overcome in a male dominated world. This has affected the world of politics in a major way. Political parties are mandated to have female representation in their leadership positions, and when the party chooses a slate as candidates (exemptions are when party members vote for the candidates that will run for office).
Even in the world of the poor one of the mainstays of the Mexican society was the woman stayed home – the male went to work. Unless the women obtained employment as maids, nannies, or cooks in private homes or as hotel house maids, then waitresses. The ones with more education became office workers – receptionists or secretaries or entered the medical field as nurses, lab assistants. Those with ‘government’ contacts could work in government offices.
Much like their U.S. counterparts, these women were the pioneers of today’s ‘Mexican career women’ – who today are represented in every profession as attorneys, architects, doctors, engineers, accountants (CPA), business administrators. At these levels they would meet much resistance, as this was the male dominated world. Women would also face tremendous obstacles in any work place when it came time to be promoted or gain higher pay. They are fiercely proud of what they have accomplished – so if as an American you cross paths with them, treat them with the equal respect as you would were they male. In turn, you will be pleasantly surprised on how knowledgeable and efficient they are.
(Read the entire chapter in the: The Mexican Perspective is available for electronic download purchase – read more about the book at: http://www.hispanicvista.com/sales/book_sale.htm)
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- Patrick Osio, Jr.
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